Oktoberfest
by Junewolfe
Summary: Gilbert and Ludwig make things hard for their 'caretaker' during October, and she gets back at them for it. Rated for language and what happens. Inspired by a hat I saw. Crack  once again .


_I don't own Hetalia._

_I had too much fun torturing my character in this._

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><p>"There is no way in hell that you're getting me to wear that." I hissed at Gil as he held a <em>very<em> skimpy bar maid's dress up. "Why not? It's unawesome that you won't." He said, shoving it in my hands. I looked at the thing and sighed. "The reason you want me to wear this is because…?" I trailed off at the end of my question. The albino in front of me, thinking I was going to wear it, smirked and threw his hands up in the air.

"It's Oktoberfest!" He shouted. I backed into my room and slammed the door in his face and locked it, forgetting that I still had the dress in my hands. "You know, West'll probably like to see you in that." I heard Gil's bored voice on the other side of the wood. I unlocked and opened the door just a crack and stuck my head out.

"I'll like to see who in what?" We both heard a voice ask from near the stairs. There stood Ludwig in his usual military uniform, holding a small stack of paper in his hands. "This." Gil announced, grabbing the dress from my hands. "I'M NOT WEARING IT!" I shrieked, slamming the door closed before I saw Lud's reaction to the incredibly short piece of fabric.

I stayed in my room the rest of the day, and only came out when I heard the front door open and close and saw the guys walking away from the house. I knew their routine on Friday nights. They always go to a bar or something like that and come home, usually drunk as hell. Only when they left the street did I venture out of my room.

I went to the kitchen to make a sandwich and saw the freaking dress on the back of the couch. I glared at it as I walked past it. I got my food and sat in the living room to watch a movie or something on TV.

It was about maybe 11 or 11:30 when the guys finally came back in through the front door. I looked up from the book I was reading and did a double take to get a clear look at the…_thing_ that was on Gil's head (besides Gilbird).

"What in the hell is that?" I asked, unsure if I should laugh, scream, run away, or all three. On top of the albino's head sat what looked like a foam beer mug with white foam on top of the yellow foam representing beer. There were the words 'Got beer?' on across the yellow foam.

"It's an awesome hat I got." Gil slurred as he stumbled to the chair I was curled up in. I quickly got up and out of the chair as Gil collapsed, face first, into it. I tore my gaze away from Gil to look at Lud. He was drunk, but not as much as his brother, and was holding one of those…hats (as Gil called them) in his hands.

"Do not put that on Lud." I said, pointing to it. "Put it on!" Gil shouted drunkenly, having removed his face from the seat of the chair. "Nien, bruder, we should go to bed." Lud said, walking towards the stairs and swaying a bit.

"If you put that on…She'll put on that." Gil pointed from the hat to…_oh dear sweet lord_, he pointed to the dress. Lud stopped and looked at the hat he was holding, to me, back to the hat, back to me, and he did that for what felt like a minute.

"Don't you fucking_ dare_ Ludwig Beilschmidt." I growled at him, making my hands into fists. I felt my stomach drop as he slowly lifted the hat onto his head. My jaw dropped and Gil laughed as Lud smirked at me.

He picked up the dress and held it out to me. "Put it on." He said, forcing into my hands. "No." I said, crossing my arms and turned away from him, but not before dropping the fabric on the ground. "Do it or I will." Lud said from behind me. "I'd love to see you _try_." I hissed at him from over my shoulder.

My eyes widened as Lud put his hands on the hem of my shirt and started to pull it up. He was actually going to put me in that! I shoved his hands away. "Fine! I change into that slut suit!" I yelled, grabbing the fabric and marching up the stairs.

I was going to _murder_ Gilbert. Why was I going to do this? Well, it's the _piece of fabric_ called a dress. The green skirt ended way above mid-thigh and the light brown corset...accentuated my tracts of land a little too much (my chest was basically falling out of the top), and the 'top' was a flimsy (and basically see-through) white off-shoulder shirt. I had to walk like I was on glass to avoid a wardrobe malfunction from happening.

I carefully walked down the stairs, only to see Gil pass out from a nosebleed and leave me alone with a drunken Ludwig. Why was I always to one to watch these two during October? Oh, right, because no one else wanted to put up with this and I could apparently "handle those two better than anyone else" in the words of Austria.

I looked at Lud to see a small trail of blood leading from his nose and sighed. "You've seen me in this thing. I'm changing out of it NOW." I announced before turning around (carefully of course) and going to walk up the stairs.

I only got one foot on the stairs before strong arms wrapped around my waist. I looked over my shoulder to meet Ludwig's eyes. His normally stoic blue eyes were alight with a flame that I didn't like. Before I could ask what he wanted, I was shoved up against the wall as his mouth met mine.

I didn't do anything at first because, quite honestly, I had wanted this to happen for a while (just not under the circumstances right now). I only snapped out of my thoughts when I felt one of Lud's hands wander up to the edge of the dress and further as his other hand started to pull the strings of the corset and his tongue made its way into my mouth. TOO FAR BUDDY!

Without thinking, I brought my knee up and hit something that made all of his actions stop as his brain registered the pain. "Sorry Ludwig, but I'm not going to get raped by a drunk German right now." I hissed, wiping the back of my hand across my lips as the mentioned German fell to the ground, groaning in pain.

I promptly marched upstairs (forgetting all about the stupid dress) and turned to look down the stairs. "Be glad I like you. But of course you're drunk, so you won't remember this in the morning." I said to the male on the stairs. "But I'll be sure to tell you in the morning." I muttered as I started walking to my room, tugging the corset the rest of the way off.

"Kesesesesesesese. That's pretty awesome bruder!" Gil shouted slapping his red-faced brother on the back after I told them what happened last night. I sat across from them at the table eating my breakfast with a murderous aura around me.

"So, where is the awesome dress that you wore last night?" Gil asked, leaning forward (closer to me) on the table. I looked up and swallowed the cereal that was in my mouth. "I burned it." I smirked as Gil's smile fell and ran out of the room, yelling about how unawesome I was.

"I'm sorry for-" I held my hand up in front of Lud's face and smirked at him. "I didn't burn the thing. I only wanted to see Gil's reaction. I will wear it again on Halloween, but you and your brother have to wear lederhosen."

"DONE!" I heard Gil shout from what sounded like my room. I smirked at Lud before finishing my breakfast. Halloween was going to be fun this year~.

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><p><em>The 'hat' is real. <em>I saw it while I was in San Antonio one weekend and the inspiration hit me. At first it was just going to be Gil trying to get Lud put the hat on, but then...well, you just read what happened.<em>_

__Why is it that a lot of the things I write about actually happen or are influenced by what happens in my life?__


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